What Are You Afraid Of?

Fear is a reality in all of our lives.  If you say you don’t have any fear at all, either you’re a liar or a psychopath—neither of these is a good option!  Some of us can’t admit our fears because they’re so terrifying we can’t face them.  Denial, though, never leads to growth, peace, joy, love, and strength.

Fear is a barrier between us and the things God is calling us to do.  It keeps us still when God wants us to move, keeps us quiet when God wants us to speak, and causes us to shrink back when God wants us to reach out.  Strong, creative spiritual leadership isn’t satisfied with the status quo.  Leaders don’t focus on excuses for inaction; they look at possibilities for God to do amazing things.  But leaders often have to overcome their fears.

Abraham left everything he had known to follow God into a distant land.  Moses had been tending sheep so long that he lost confidence in his leadership abilities, but God still had a mission for him.  After his initial hesitations, he marched boldly into Pharaoh’s presence and demanded, “Let my people go!” Joshua and Caleb believed God to lead the people into the Promised Land and conquer giants even when others cowered in terror.  David put down Saul’s armor and faced the colossal giant Goliath with a sling and five stones.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the willingness to take action in the face of fear.  Every leader has to face very real fears.  The key is facing your fears with the RIGHT ammunition and in the right SPIRIT!  Never forget:

“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

What is Paul saying?  Crippling fear doesn’t come from God.  Instead, God pours out the solution to fear: power, love, and a sound mind.  So, face your fears in prayer – and let God give you the power, love, and sound mind that He has promised!

(for more on this subject, check out my book, “I Blew It!” chapter 10)

I Can’t Wait! (dealing with impatience)

Our culture breeds impatience.  Most of us have memories of feeling impatient from our earliest years.  You remember how you felt at Christmas, don’t you?  You begged your parents every day to let you open a present days (or even weeks) before Christmas.  You couldn’t wait to find out what was in those pretty packages.

I have to admit that I’m not very patient.  I’m one of those people who stand at the microwave tapping his foot, wondering why the two minutes to cook a burrito is going by so slowly!

I hate to wait in traffic.  I like to move fast.  When I’m driving on the highway, I really move fast.  When one lane starts to slow down, I switch to the one that looks most promising. Then, I switch back.  Airports, doctors’ offices, emergency rooms, and high school graduations—I hate them all.

Too often, we’re impatient in ministry as well.  Impatience leads us to hastily make a leadership decision.  Impatience makes us jump to conclusions in a conflict instead of going to the source.

Impatience makes us hastily “borrow” a ministry idea from another church instead of going through the process of receiving a “God idea.”  God may want us to slow down so we can pursue Him, listen to Him, and have our ideas pruned and shaped.  But all this takes time. Impatience causes many of us to miss out on the “God ideas” that could advance our ministry and inspire our hearts.

What’s the cure for impatience?  Wait.  Wait in His presence.  Wait on His leading.  Wait on His voice.

Practice this today.  When you feel yourself rushing – slow down.  When you feel yourself jumping the gun – wait.  When you feel the stress of ministry beginning to take you over the edge – wait.  Why?  Because “those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”  (Isaiah 40:31)

Offering Accountability

Accountability is something we often want from others, but we rarely want to give to others.

On a ministry team, accountability is crucial for things to run smoothly.

We understand this when it comes to those who are under us in the organization, but we don’t always treat it with the same respect when it comes to our OWN accountability.

I made a decision long ago to have a habit of offering accountability instead of forcing my pastor to require it. I don’t know of any senior pastor who enjoys tracking down any member of his staff to check on him or confront him when there’s a problem. In my relationship with my pastor, I am determined to offer accountability instead of forcing him to demand it from me.

When I came to my church, my pastor asked me to email him any time I had a problem of any kind that needed his attention.  In my pride and self-protection, I didn’t want to admit that I had any problems (at all), so I didn’t send him any emails about needs or difficulties. One day, he found out about an incident in the Kids Ministry.  He was perplexed to hear about it from someone besides me.  When he called me into his office, he had to be an investigator trying to find out what happened instead of a partner helping to resolve it.  My silence had forced him into this role.

Don’t make your pastor play NCIS.  Take the initiative to tell him anytime there’s a problem he needs to know about.  When you’re going to be late, call.  When something goes wrong, tell him.  When there’s a problem that’s going to affect other ministries, give him a heads up.

Giving Away 5 FREE Copies of “I Blew It!”

Hey friends!  We are giving away 5 copies of my brand new book, “I Blew It!”, to five of my Twitter followers (chosen at random).  So, if you want to win – all you have to do is search for @Brian_D_Dollar and follow!  We will choose the winners on Valentine’s Day, February 14th!  What better way to show our LOVE!!???

Wanna help spread the word?  Copy and paste the following message into a tweet:

Giving away 5 FREE copies of the new #kidmin book “I Blew It!” on Feb 14th.  Follow the author @Brian_D_Dollar to be entered. Please RT!

That’s it!  Follow and win!  But, don’t forget that you only have until Feb 14th to join in on the fun!  So tweet, retweet, and let’s get the word out!

Killing The Invisible Gorilla

OK, now before the folks at PETA start picketing my blog – let me explain.

Ever heard the expression “monkey on my back”?  It refers to a problem or irritation that just won’t seem to go away.  A looming deadline, a staffing issue, a recurring problem.  These “monkeys” can be irritating.

However, I am not talking about those little “monkeys” in this blog.  Have you ever woke up with such heaviness, such a weight bearing down on you it’s like a 900 lb gorilla sitting on your chest?  You know that you have something huge to face today – a huge interview, a confrontational conversation, a major report or writing project.  It is such a BIG DEAL that you almost have to give yourself a pep talk just to get out of bed and face the day.

Those “invisible gorillas” can steal your joy, distract your thinking, and zap your motivation.  The obvious answer to kill this gorilla is prayer.  When I hit my knees and “cast my cares upon Him” (Psalm 55:22), I feel that load lift.  God will take the weight of that “invisible gorilla” and replace it with His comfort and peace.  After all, Jesus promised us “my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:30).

Another secret weapon I have for killing those “invisible gorillas” is music.  There’s something liberating and joyous about music that gets me fired up.  I have one song in particular that has been a “gorilla killer” for many years.  It is Donnie McClurkin’s “Just A Little Talk With Jesus” (click on the link to find it i-Tunes).  Although I am definitely a ROCKER at heart, this black gospel song just gets me revved up – and the invisible gorilla just disappears as I remember that God is in control!!!

What about you?  What do you do to kill the invisible 900 lb gorilla sitting on your chest?  What song do you play that just instantly changes the mood and gets you motivated to slay the gorilla?  Share your comments below.

Drop The Excuses

We all have our favorite excuses why we haven’t done the things we know we should do.  Taking risks, expanding our horizons, making significant life and habit changes – all of these things are held back by our favorite excuses:

*  I’m comfortable with the way things are, so I don’t really need to change.

*  I’ll probably fail, so why even try?

*  It’ll take too long to change.

*  People will criticize me if I try this.

As I write in my book, I Blew It!, excuses are perpetual blinders.  With them, we can stay stuck for a lifetime.  When we find the courage to open our eyes to the truth, amazing things can happen.  To make real change a reality in our lives, we have to be willing to get rid of every excuse we’ve used in the past.

Excuses aren’t unique to people today.  When God called Moses, he had all kinds of reasons he couldn’t step up and be the leader of God’s people.  God told Moses he was the one who would lead the Israelites out of captivity in Egypt to the Promised Land.

It’s time to eliminate your excuses and your rationalizations.  Make a declaration: I’m not going to live by my excuses any longer!  After Moses had given God multiple reasons why he couldn’t lead Israel out of slavery, Moses said, “O Lord, please send someone else to do it” (Exodus 4:13).  As it turns out, all of his excuses were only smoke screens.  The real issue was that Moses flat out did not want to do what God had called him to do.

Is that you?  Have you been making excuses to cover up the fact that you’re unwilling to do what God has called you to do?  It’s time to be honest.  Be honest and trust God to change your life.

Is Your Greatest Strength Also Your Biggest Liability?

In my book, “I Blew It!”, I write about a crazy story where I ended up accidentally wearing a Keystone Cop hat on stage during the most serious moment of our Easter Production.  I had tried to be funny backstage and ended up forgetting I was wearing the hat.  It’s hilarious to read, but wasn’t so funny when it happened.

My greatest strength in kids’ ministry was my sense of humor.  The children loved it, and the volunteers enjoyed it, too.  I was able to play goofy characters like Skittles, the Candy Rapper, and a host of others.  I was quick-witted and funny.  I could make the kids laugh at almost anything, but I had a problem: I allowed this strength to run wild and unrestrained, and it became my greatest liability.  This can happen in all of our lives, and it doesn’t just apply to the strength of humor.

—A person who is driven can work so hard chasing his vision that he leaves a trail of ruined relationships behind because people feel used. He may accomplish his goals, but he hurts people in the process.

—A person who is extremely relational can spend all her time socializing and seldom get any work done. She focuses on the person in front of her, but she often misses the big picture and kingdom goals.

—A person who has empathy and senses the pain of others can find himself “taking up the offenses” of others, taking sides, and causing discord and disunity. He may develop tunnel vision by focusing on the hurts of a few but fail to notice the opportunity to have an impact on the many.

—A person who is diligent to manage details may be determined to do things exactly right, but his perfectionism makes him rigid, judgmental and offensive. He never feels that his work is finished, and he never thinks yours is done, either.

—A person who has grand and glorious visions may be impatient with others who are slow to get on board.

Any strength or skill, when it is taken to an extreme and isn’t tempered by wisdom and love, can become detrimental to the person, the team, and the organization. As the old saying goes, “Too much of even a good thing is still too much!”  The solution isn’t to deny or minimize the strength, but instead, to use it in the right context with the right motive.  In addition, we need to learn to value the skills and traits that complement and balance our strengths.  We can get into trouble when we rely too much on our own strengths.

How about you?  Which of your strengths also tends to become a liability in ministry if not used properly?  Comment below and share it with the Kidmin Community.